Man Among Men
by Mordae Durgul
Summary: Just a little spamficone shot about some of Nodoka's weirder beliefs.


Standard Disclamer of ownership. They aren't mine.  
  
Man Among Men  
  
It was a typical Sunday morning at the Tendo Dojo. Soun and Genma contemplated the complexities of cheating at shogi. Nabiki sat at the table, engrossed in a manga. Kasumi hummed her favorite J-pop song as she prepared to set out breakfast.  
And Akane went to tell Ranma that breakfast was ready. And that she had cooked part of it. The results were predictable. The loud crash went largely unnoticed-noticed, except by Nabiki, who smoothly slid aside to avoid some dust from the ceiling.  
"Ranma no baka!"  
Said baka came down the stairs six at a time. He bounded over the table, cartwheeled off his father's head and went pounding around the corner of the house. Akane was hot on his trail. Nabiki snapped a picture as her sister sailed overhead. And another as Akane planted a mallet onto Saotome ojisan's bald head. Soun took the opportunity to rearrange the board to his liking.  
"Breakfast is ready, everyone," Kasumi called, inciting a general rush for the table.  
Things calmed down slightly. Genma tried to steal Ranma's food. Ranma alternated between breaking Genma's chopsticks and stuffing his face. Kasumi watched with her serene smile and presided over the rice cooker. Nabiki calmly ate while reading the business section on the back of her father's paper. Soun ignored the general noise and melee.  
And Akane glowered at Ranma, until she couldn't take it any more.  
"Ranma! You haven't touched the treat I made for you!"  
Silence descended on the table. Ranma glanced at his plate.  
"You made that?" He asked, pointing at the offending piece of food. "Are you trying to get me killed?"  
"RANMA!"  
He dodged a wild swing.  
"Wait a moment." The two stopped in surprise as Nabiki interrupted. "You made this Akane?" Nabiki indicated the half eaten slice on her own plate.  
Akane nodded, glaring as if daring Nabiki to insult or deny it. Nabiki glanced at Kasumi and got a small nod in return. Nabiki took another bite, as the others watched with morbid fascination. Nothing happened.  
"See, Ranma? She likes it," Akane declared triumphantly.  
"Ranma!" Genma was on his feet. "Be a man and eat your fiancee's cooking."  
Soun was crying with joy. "My baby girl learned to cook. Now the schools will be joined."  
"Ah, you don't know what you're eating do ya pop. Mom won't see things quite the same way."  
Genma flinched at the reminder of his wife and her katana.  
"But it won't kill you, Saotome-kun," Nabiki put in. "It's actually pretty good. For something made by Akane."  
Akane glared briefly at her sister. "Kasumi made sure I didn't do anything wrong. I even followed the recipe exactly."  
"Sorry, Akane," Ranma said sincerely. "But I can't eat it. I don't wanna die."  
Akane exploded. "Stop insulting my cooking!"  
"Wait, Akane," Nabiki interrupted again. "Something isn't clicking here."  
"He insulted my cooking. He needs to die." Akane produced a mallet and prepared to carry out her threat.  
"But he hasn't insulted your cooking at all. All he said was that eating it would kill him."  
"It's the same thing," Akane snarled.  
Kasumi's hand on her shoulder evaporated all her anger. Tears followed.  
"Aww man," Ranma muttered, his hand going to his braid.  
Nabiki was watching him. "What's the matter, Saotome-kun? Still won't try it?"  
Ranma shook his head wildly.  
"But Ranma," Kasumi put in from where she was holding the sobbing Akane. "You like eggs and cheese. And it has the same crust as all my pies. There is even ham and bacon. I know you like those. Why won't you try it?"  
"'Cause eating that will get me killed."  
"Get you killed?" Nabiki pounced on his wording. Even Akane looked up. "How will you get killed from eating this?"  
"'Cause of Pop and his stupid promise."  
"Which one?" Soun asked with a grin.  
Everyone stared at him until he buried his head in the morning news again.  
Ranma glared at his father. "Eggs, cheese, ham, bacon and spinach in a pie crust. Sound familiar pops?"  
There was a splash in response to Ranma's words, and the panda was playing with a ball behind a sign that read "Just a cute 'lil Panda."  
"So this has to do with your mother?" Nabiki asked. "Let me guess. The whole 'man among men' thing."  
Ranma nodded. "Momma has some particular ideas about what makes a man."  
"What does that have to do with my cooking, Ranma?" Akane was curious now.  
"Mamma says the Real Men don't eat Quiche."  
  
AN- Ok. It was a bad one. But who knows what Nodoka really thinks a man among men should be. I'm sure that many will find this humorous, after they get over the urge to kill me. And if there are any reviews, I may add another one or two skits. On the other hand, I may add them if there aren't any reviews... bwahahahahahaha... Mordae1 


End file.
